The Party of Yuugi Mutou
by Demented Insane Spirit
Summary: Yuugi is having a party and it started out innocently enough until Jou and Honda revealed their “gifts,” which just happened to be alcohol and other such things. What will happen at this “innocent” party?


DIS: (sweat drop) Oh, I know...I should be updating my stories, but come on! – When you get an idea for a one-shot, you just _have_ to write it down!

Kaiba: (raises an eyebrow) Is that why you have so many one-shots you don't know what to do with them?

DIS: (o.o)...

Kaiba: I thought so.

DIS: That's it, buddy! I'm sick of your remarks! I'm pairing you up with Shizuka in this fic!

Kaiba:...who?

DIS: (-.-) Shizuka. You know? The stupid sister of Jou's?

Kaiba: The mutt has a sister?

DIS: She was in the Battle City Season!

Kaiba:...Oh, that girl...I hate that girl.

DIS: ………

Kaiba: Wait, what did you say earlier? (pause) THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT I'M GOING TO BE WITH THAT IDIOTIC SISTER OF A DOG!

DIS: (smirk) You're catching on. Read below and enjoy!

X

Title: The Party of Yuugi Mutou's 

_Rating: M for language _

_Genre: Humor_

_Summary: Yuugi is having a party and it started out innocently enough until Jou and Honda revealed their "gifts," which just happened to be alcohol and other such things. What will happen at this "innocent" party? _

_Disclaimer: (sniff) Kazuki Takahashi owns YuGiOh, not me. (smirk) Do not worry, though! I have a plan, mwahaha! (lawyers charge after her) Eep! _

_Notes/Warnings: Anzu/Kaiba; Mature content; Complete randomness, pointlessness and so on; the removing of clothing aka stripping; drugs, alcohol, ect. Um...Yeah, that's about it. _

_X_

_The Party of Yuugi Mutou's _

Yuugi Mutou, Duel Monsters Game King, was preparing his home for a party. He had invited all his friends and, strangely, all his foes. Did Grandpa Mutou know about this? Oh, no, Grandpa did not know of Yuugi's plan to have a party. Grandpa was gone with his old cronies in Hawaii, enjoying their view of Hawaiian women and the long beaches of Honolulu. It wasn't Yuugi's plan, actually. It was Yami's, the ancient Pharaoh from the Millennium Puzzle. Well, the majority of it was Yami's plan. He had brought up the subject in a...subtle...manner.

The next day, after Grandpa had left, Yami said conversationally over breakfast, "My, it certainly is quiet without Grandpa around."

"Is it?" Yuugi questioned, pausing in eating his Lucky Charms cereal. "I didn't really notice," he admitted, shame-faced. Yami frowned at his abiou, annoyed that he hadn't gotten his point. Clearing his throat, he tried again.

"The whole place is empty. No guardians to watch over us, no one around to stop us from being reckless..."

In return to Yami's remark, Yuugi laughed and said, "Gee, Atemu – "

"I TOLD YOU TO CALL ME YAMI!"

"(o.o) Right. Well, Yami, you almost sound like you're suggesting we throw a huge party, make a mess, stay up all night, and act completely irresponsible." Pause. "Ha, ha, but that's just me!" Yuugi hummed a tune to himself, eating his cereal with a bright expression. Yami seethed with fury at the idiocy of Yuugi. Really, the Pharaoh had thought Yuugi Mutou was more intelligent than the way he was acting. Then again, he had been in the boy's body, so maybe Yuugi was manipulating him to make him think that way?...Nah.

"Listen, Yuugi..." Yami clasped his hands in a Kaiba-like fashion and peered at his abiou over the table. "What I'm trying to say is that we're alone and no one is here." Yuugi stared at him, dropping his spoon and blushing, turning from Yami. "(-o.o-) Huh?"

"O-oh, Yami..." Yuugi murmured, blushing red. "I didn't know you thought of me that way..."

"(OO) Th-that's not what I meant, Yuugi!" The Pharaoh exploded, standing up, embarrassed. "For Ra's sake, get your mind out of the gutter! What I'm implying is we have a party! A huge-ass party!"

"Yami!" Yuugi scolded, his earlier assumption forgotten. "Have you been hanging around Marik and Bakura again? Your language is becoming terrible!"

"I CAN SPEAK ENGLISH VERY WELL, THANK YOU!"

"...(-.-) That's not what I meant, Yami..."

"Oh? Oh, well then...Please, elaborate."

"I mean that you're using dirty words that are bad."

"Yuugi, you told me to 'shut the fuck up' just last week when you were watching _Passions_," Yami informed him with a frown.

"Shut the fuck up!" Yuugi snapped, obviously very touchy about the subject of his soap opera.

"See? There you go again with that cuss word. Not even _I _say that!" Yuugi sighed.

"You're right, Yami...I'm sorry. I'll go to BFLA."

"BFLA?"

"Bad Fucking Language Anonymous," Yuugi answered. "They helped Honda...A little. He doesn't say 'fuck' or 'shit' anymore."

"How...lovely," Yami muttered, thinking to himself, _My friends are more screwed up than I anticipated. _"Anyway, about the huge-ass party..."

"Oh. Well...So long as nothing _too bad_ happens."

"Excellent! Then you deal with the invitations. I, on the other hand, have more important things to do."

"Such as?" Yuugi prompted with a curious look.

"(o.o) Finding Grandpa's money stash."

"Ah, yes...Good luck on that."

"Thanks, I'll need it."

And so, the agreements were made. Yuugi would be going to BFLA and they were going to have a huge-ass party. Now, Yuugi, being the kind-hearted boy he was, didn't want anyone left out, so he invited Kaiba, Marik, Malik, and Bakura. It wasn't so much _Kaiba_ they had to worry about. It was, more or less, just the other, more insane, three that were the problem. But, of course, Yuugi was naïve and didn't know any better, so he simply invited them without any thought of what chaos they might cause.

As for Yami, he wasn't exactly having any luck with finding Grandpa's stash. After he checked all the most _obvious_ places, he began to panic...and then he began to cry. He slumped onto the floor and wailed, before sniffing, "Now we can't have a party because we n-need money for the Ra d-damn food!" In anger, he grabbed the mattress off Grandpa's bed and threw it at the opposite wall. I tell ya, this boy has been working out. Well, when Yami looked down, ready to throw the bed frame at the wall too, he found, to his surprise, a rather large wad of cash that was secured with a rubber band. Staring at it for a long time, Yami wondered if he was so pissed that he was seeing things. Then, in sudden jubilation, he snatched the money and cried tears of joy. The Pharaoh was rather emotional today, wasn't he?

"Yami, do you have any idea how much...noise...you're...(0o0) Yami, what have you done to my grandfather's bed?" Yuugi screeched in horror. Yami pouted, looking at Yuugi with shiny eyes.

"Oh, come on, abiou. I had to take desperate measures."

"You've been up here for _ten minutes!_"

Yami nervously laughed, asking, "Really? It seemed so much longer than that!"

"(-.-) I imagine it did...Well, if you found the money, let's hurry and go get the food."

"And drinks!" Yami added cheerfully, following Yuugi.

"And drinks," Yuugi agreed. "But when we get back, you're going to put Grandpa's mattress back on his bed."

"Aw, but abiou..." Yami whined. "I'm not strong enough to put it back."

"(OO) For gosh sake, Yami, you lifted the whole TV set last month and hurled it outside. And that was a big screen TV!"

"(o.o) Okay, okay, your point is proven."

"Next time you watch _Inuyasha_, I'm chaining the TV down."

"You don't understand, Yuugi," Yami continued ruthlessly. "Kagome was right there, pinned on the tree by those stupid soul collectors and Inuyasha...he _kissed Kikyo!_"

"(-.-)" _I keep forgetting what a huge Inuyasha/Kagome supporter Yami is..._ Yuugi thought. "Alright, Yami, I get it. Can we just go to the grocery store already?" Yami frowned, not really believing that Yuugi understood the complexity of his favorite show and couple. Deciding to simply let it go, he followed the shorter teenager outside. Yuugi intended to walk to the store, but Yami didn't want to do that. He was too lazy and wanted to take the car. The car that, to Yuugi and Yami, was forbidden from Grandpa. (In other words, Grandpa told them not to even _think_ about driving the car.) Well, Yami was feeling like a daredevil today and told Yuugi quite bluntly, "Let's drive the car. Okay? Cool, I'll go get the keys." Yami rushed inside and Yuugi stared after him. He hadn't even been able to get a word in!

Yami returned with the keys and went to the Subaru, getting in the driver's seat. Yuugi hesitated, then sighed and got in the passenger's seat, forgetting that his yami had _no idea_ how to work a car. Yami's crimson-mauve eyes searched the car for where the keys might go. Seeing the keyhole, he carefully put the car key in it and turned it. Hearing it rumble, he jumped in surprise. Yuugi was watching him and by the time he realized Yami couldn't drive, Yami jerked the clutch around in reverse. "(OO) Oh-my-god-I'm-gonna-die!" Yuugi said in one breath, clutching his seatbelt. Yami turned the wheel sharply and Yuugi let out a high-pitched scream.

"Don't worry, Yuugi," the Pharaoh said cheerfully, oblivious to what he was doing. "You're in good hands!"

_(x.x) I knew this wasn't a good idea..._ Yuugi thought in horror.

Twenty minutes and eleven car crashes later, they arrived at the grocery store. Yuugi stumbled out of the car and ran to the nearest trashcan and hurled in it. Yami scratched his head in confusion, before turning to look at the car. "Wow. Hey, abiou! Look, it came out better than I would have though! Ha, ha!" Yami patted the car and one of the back car doors fell off. "(o.o) Hm...I wonder if we can buy some duct tape...? What do you think, Yuugi?"

"Blllarrgghhh...Blargghh! Cough, cough...Blllarrggh."

"Alright..."

X

After having went grocery shopping (and duct taping the door to the car,) they happily arrived home. When everything was inside, the two males left outside and stared at the mess of a car. Yuugi, unlike the Pharaoh, was currently sobbing, staring at the car in misery. Yami was able to catch the words, "Why me? Why me, of all people?" And then after a few other sobs, "I've been a good person! I've never done anything to Mai or Anzu when I have dreams of them! Why...Oh why, me?" Of course, Yami being _temporarily _wise, knew better than to answer that question.

"Come on, now, Yuugi," Yami told him, kneeling down and patting the younger one on the back. "It's not that bad. I mean, think of it this way: we're alive, we're in one piece, only one of the car doors is broken and we put gas in the car. That's good, right?"

Yuugi glared at him and said, "The gas tank has a leak."

"(o.o) Well...It's the thought that counts, right?"

"Grandpa isn't going to _care_ about the thought!" Yuugi groaned. "I can just see how Kaiba is going to rub this in our faces. And we call ourselves Game King."

"Wh-_what?_" Yami looked livid. "_Kaiba?_" A sudden vision came in his head...

Kaiba was prancing around Yuugi, Yami, and the wrecked Subaru, saying, "Ha-ha-ha! I knew that you idiots would do something like that! You're just as bad as the dog!" Kaiba suddenly brought out a magic wand and with a flick, Yuugi and Yami were in dog suits. "Lick my two-hundred dollar boots, mutts! Ha-ha-ha!"

"Yes, Kaiba..." They muttered obediently, kneeling down and licking Kaiba's two-hundred dollar boots.

"NOOOO!" Yami wailed, clutching his head. "I WON'T ALLOW IT!" He turned to Yuugi with sudden determination. "We have to get rid of the car!"

"(oO) Well...We could put it in the garage and – "

"No! We must disperse of it!" He smirked suddenly. "I know what to do." He left inside and brought out a chainsaw.

"(O.O) YAMI! NO!"

VRRRMMMM

(An hour later)

Yuugi was sobbing even harder now that he had no car to present to his grandfather. The driveway was cleared and the remaining bits of the Subaru were long gone. Yami had buried them in the backyard.

"Okay, Yuugi," Yami said with a smile, kneeling next to his abiou. "It's time to get ready for the party."

"(;.;) Ohh...We're beyond dead."

"(-.-) Oh, stop it. I'll think of something."

X

It was at eight that people began to arrive. Jou, Honda, Anzu, and Mai were the first arrivals. The second was Kaiba, who exited his limo with his usual grace. He glanced at the driveway casually, looked back at the Kame Game Shop, and then halted in his steps, looking back at the driveway. Wasn't there a piece of shit car over there...? He blinked slowly, then returned to going to the party. Maybe they finally got rid of it. Or even better, destroyed it and buried it. Ha! The idea is laughable. Smirking to himself – for surely, Kaiba did not smile often except to Mokuba – he entered the Kame Game Shop and left upstairs to where the party was being held.

The next arrivals were demons themselves. Marik, Malik, and Bakura entered, with Ryou ahead of them, smiling at the others. Yuugi greeted Ryou happily, then looked to the three and blinked. "I invited you?"

"(-.-) Little Yuugi, you've never really seemed the rude type...But now I'm beginning to wonder," Bakura told him with a frown. He wasn't in a particularly good mood today. Ryou's stupid Tivo thing wouldn't work, so he missed his episode of Inuyasha. Fucking damn Tivo. I'll kill you! You and your siblings, mwahaha!

"(o.o) Oops, sorry! Well, come on in!" Yuugi shut the door, guessing that everyone was here. Pity that Shizuka wasn't able to make it, he thought sadly. Oh well! Having gotten over his very brief, but sad thought, he skipped over to where the chips and dip were and started to hound down on it. He glanced around and saw his friend, Anzu Mazaki, going towards the punch, where Kaiba was. I can't help but think that this is going to be an interesting encounter, Yuugi thought to himself, stuffing chips into his mouth.

"Hi, Kaiba!" Anzu chirped happily. Her mood was great, evidently.

"Oh. It's you." He eyed her cynically. "Since when have we been on speaking terms?" He asked with a narrow-eyed look towards her. "I didn't get drunk and say anything, did I?"

"Are you mocking me, Kaiba?" She demanded with a frown. "Can't I just say 'hi'? Is that suddenly illegal? Can't I be nice to you once in awhile? Is that so bad? Oh, but I forgot! You're not accustomed to being nice to, are you? You prefer to be glared at and have people whisper nasty things behind your back! Am I right? Well, am I, Kaiba?" Kaiba took a drink of his punch and turned to her, frowning.

"Were you saying something?" He asked her, having not really heard the half of what she said. She flushed in embarrassment.

"Kaiba, you're such an asshole!" She snapped at him.

Ooh, Anzu swore! That means she's extra mad! Yuugi thought in partial glee.

"No," Kaiba answered, "actually, I'm not. In fact, Mazaki, I came to the conclusion long ago that I'm a human." She stared at him, looking livid, before she slammed down a cup and poured punch in it. Wait a minute...Kaiba thought, glancing at the other side of the room where another bowl of punch was – and where nobody was hanging around. "Mazaki..." He began, but she simply glared at him and chugged the punch down. Kaiba stared at her, his face slack. He wasn't sure whether to be disgusted, mortified, or amused. He decided that he would be his favorite: emotionless. Slowly turning from her to sip his own punch, Kaiba ignored the sound of more punch sloshing into her cup.

"This tastes kind of funny," she said thoughtfully after a moment. "Do you think someone put something in it?" Kaiba ignored her, not wanting to get involved. "Hey! Are you listening to me?"

"Unfortunately," he muttered in his cup as he took a small drink. He glanced at her and saw her down another cup. "What are you doing?" He demanded, looking at her in near horror.

"What does it look like?" She retorted. "I'm having some punch!"

"The regular punch," he snapped, pointing a finger to the other side of the room, "is over there!" She stared at him blankly, before her eyes widened.

"Wh-what?" She gasped. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS SOONER?" Yuugi's jaw dropped and a piece of chip fell from his mouth. Anzu was beyond pissed. She was drunk and pissed now!

"I would have had you not been ranting at me and chugging that stuff down like it's fucking mineral water!" Kaiba roared at her, slamming his cup down. Punch flew from the cup, but he ignored it.

"You vile creature!" She ground out. "Don't cuss in front of Yuugi!" She went to Yuugi and grabbed him, hugging him. "He can't hear such terrible things!" Kaiba frowned at her, then his gaze flickered to where Yuugi's face was being pressed.

Arching a cool, brown eyebrow, he asked, "As if you're making him any less defiled." He gestured and she suddenly realized she had been shoving his face against her bosom. She released him and blinked.

"Sorry, Yuugi," she apologized in embarrassment.

"Oh, that's...alright. You should make sure I stay innocent more often." Kaiba glowered at the shorter male, disgusted by him and was about to make a witty remark, but Yami came stumbling over to him. Kaiba remembered seeing him, Honda, and Jou doing something in the corner. Now he knew what it was.

The Pharaoh that saved the world so often...was drunk.

"Yami, get the hell away from me," Kaiba sneered, wrinkling his nose at the smell of booze. "What in God's name have you been drinking?"

"Wha? Whadja say, Kaiba? You say sommin...to me?" Yami demanded, his words slurred. He tripped over his own feet and fell on Kaiba, giggling insanely. Yuugi and Anzu regarded him with horror. Kaiba looked positively revolted and shoved Yami off him. "Ooh, Kaiba wants ta play ROUGH!" Yuugi's eyes rolled to the back of his head and he fell sideways in a faint.

"Oh no, Yuugi!" Anzu cried, catching him. "HONDA HIROTO AND JOUNOUCHI KATSUYA, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" The two teenage males cringed and muttered something, gesturing at each other, before shrugging and looking at her with guilty facial expressions. "You SPIKED the punch bowl and now you've gone and got Yami DRUNK!"

"Aw, c'mon Anzu..." Jou whined. "Ya never let us do anything fun!"

"AND FOR GOOD REASON!" Kaiba smirked as Jou cowered. Maybe this party would turn out good after all.

X

Bakura glanced over his shoulder in a bored fashion as Anzu started shrieking at the two idiots. He rolled his eyes in exasperation and turned to the two Ishtars that had paused to listen as well. "You were saying?"

"Oh, yeah...Well, the episode was mainly focused on Sesshomaru and some dead chick...Her name was Sara." Bakura scowled and slammed his fists down on the table. Marik and Malik exchanged looks.

"And what of Rin?" He demanded.

"Um...Just a little bit of her." Malik replied as Bakura sat back on the couch, glaring darkly at the two.

"Now I'm really going to kill Tivo," he hissed malevolently. As Yami was a big supporter of Kagome/Inuyasha, Bakura was a big supporter of Rin/Sesshomaru. Malik and Marik, however, didn't care much about couples. They just despised Kagome and Kikyo.

"If it makes you feel any better," Marik spoke up, a dark tone to his voice, "Kagome wouldn't shut up and kept screeching her head off." He cleared his throat and did a good imitation of Kagome screaming, "Inuyasha!" a good amount of times. Rolling his eyes, Marik continued, "By Ra, if they don't kill her off, Rumiko Takahashi's dead." Bakura looked scandalized at the thought.

"What? No! I have to find out whether Sesshomaru and Rin end up together, damn it!"

"I'm sick of that blonde-wanna-be, though!" Marik snapped and Malik put in a, "Yeah!" in agreement.

"No!"

"No?" The other two repeated, staring at him menacingly. For a moment, the three glared at each other, before they lunged at each other. "WE'LL TEACH YOU TO SAY NO TO US, BITCH!"

"WHAT THE HELL? I'M NO BITCH OF YOURS!" Bakura bellowed back, doing a good job of beating the two up. Ryou, watching from afar, winced.

"...I knew I shouldn't have got my yami addicted to Inuyasha," Ryou muttered to himself regretfully. He turned and jumped in surprise as Honda and Jou hovered over him. They exchanged looks, before smirking at Ryou.

"Hey, Ryou," Honda greeted in a whisper.

"(oO) Um…Weren't you getting yelled at by Anzu?"

"Oh, yeah, but then Kaiba started to swear at her to shut up because she was screeching in his ear, so she's dealing with him. In the meantime..." Honda held up a baggy of white material. Ryou stared at it for awhile, before sighing miserably. "It's our latest favorite," he explained with a grin.

"(-.-) I see...Um, listen you guys, I really should be – "

"Ryou, buddy, listen," Jou said suddenly, slinging an arm over his shoulder while Honda slung his arm on the other. "We know you're really shy, a pansy-ass and everything, but you know..." He smiled at Ryou's facial expression, which registered shock at being called that. "...You can always convert."

"...Oh look, it's, uh, Shizuka!" Ryou announced, pointing. Jou and Honda released him and turned to look.

"WHERE?" Ryou hastily snuck away, his heart pounding in his chest. He thanked the gods above for his safe escape. As he scrambled along the floor, he crashed into someone's legs. He looked up and almost had a nosebleed in realization that he was looking up someone's skirt. Mai glanced down at him and smiled.

"Hey, there, hun," she greeted with a suave smile. She offered a hand and helped him up. "What are you doing crawling on the floor for?"

"I was, uh, trying to get away from Honda and Jou. They were trying to get me to change from who I am."

"Ah, but Ryou, you're so cute the way you are!" Mai chirped, her mouth stretching into a grin. "You're so sweet and just so adorable! I could eat you up!"

"(face fault) (o.o) Oh, my...Well, um, thank you Mai."

"By the way," Mai continued, "when do you think that Kaiba and Anzu are going to hook up with each other? I mean, I think it's pretty obvious that they love each other. Don't you think?"

"(sweat drop) Well, I – "

"And let's face it, Kaiba is a total babe. Anzu can't resist him for long! I mean, look at those dark eyes of his!" Mai sighed, fanning herself. "Yeow! You could melt with just one look from those ultimately sexy eyes of his!"

"(X.X) O-oh? Is that so?"

"And then that body!" She giggled girlishly and swatted Ryou's shoulder. "Well, I'm sure that Anzu will probably want to get a good, long look at that hot, tan body of his."

"(O.O) I-I see...Um, if you'll excuse me, Mai. I feel a bit queasy."

"Oh, alright, hun. I'll be here when you're done throwing up. Thanks for talking to me! It was real nice!"

Ryou, who now had no color in his face, nodded numbly and stumbled away to the bathroom.

X

(Outside the Kame Game Shop)

"Hey, Dave," a policeman spoke to his partner, looking at the Kame Game Shop cynically. "That there looks like a teenage party! What d'ya say about that?" Dave yawned and looked at his watch.

"I say that we get the hell out of here and hurry to go get some donuts!" He scowled at his partner. "I mean, really, Mike, why have we been sitting here doing nothing for the past ten, fifteen minutes? I really want to go get some donuts, Mike!"

"Would you stop muttering about those there donuts and actually listen to me, Dave? I think that there home is having one helluva a party that could be disruptin' the peace of this here neighborhood." Dave looked at his watch again. "(-.-) You just don't care, do ya?"

"No, not really. I'm hungry and I want donuts, dammit!"

"Alright, alright, don't get yer panties in a bunch!"

"I'm not your wife, Mike!"

"Whatever, same difference..."

X

(Back in the Kame Game Shop)

"...and it is completely inappropriate!" Anzu finished, glaring at Kaiba, who took a sip of his punch and cleared his throat, setting it on the table.

"What are your wages, Mazaki?"

"(o.o) I-I don't work!"

"Are you sure?" He took out a fifty. "Is this enough?"

"(O.O) For what?"

"(-.-) For shutting you up, what else?"

"...How unflattering!" She grumbled. "And no, it is not enough! You'll have to pay thousands of dollars to get me to stop lecturing you!"

"Do you take checks?" He asked, taking out his check book. Her cheek twitched and she smacked him on the arm. He glared at her. "Don't touch me!"

"Make me!"

"I will."

"Fine!"

"Very well." He removed his trench coat and loosened his collar, staring at her with cold, calculating eyes. "Are you ready?"

"(O.O)...Um, hold on a second." She fled to the other side of the room and Kaiba smirked in victory.

"I thought so." It's rather interesting agitating her.

X

"Hey, Mai," Anzu welcomed, sighing as she came to stand by Mai, who beamed at her.

"Hey there, Anzu! What's up? You get tired of flirting with Kaiba? Eh? Eh?" Mai nudged her, grinning as color flooded to Anzu's cheeks.

"Don't be ridiculous! I hate Kaiba, that arrogant, self-centered, good for nothing...hot, sexy CEO!" Pause. "I hate him," she ended simply, looking thoroughly embarrassed.

"Well, at a time like this, there's only one cure, sweetheart," Mai told her and grabbed a bottle of Vodka from her purse. "Get drunk as hell!"

"(o.o) Are you serious?"

"I've never been more serious."

(Pause)

"Alright, hit me with it," Anzu said with a shrug. "I think I want to get a little more sane before I start spurting off more extremely indecent things."

"Amen to that, sister!" Mai crowed.

(Twenty minutes later)

"Ya know what I love about Kaiba, Mai?" Anzu slurred, leaning on her friend as they swayed side to side, still standing. "He's so...so smexy."

"Smexy he is," Mai agreed, raising her cup and then downing the rest of it. She filled hers and Anzu's cup to the rim.

"Have you seen that butt of his?" Anzu asked, taking a swig of her drink. "It's so small and so CUTE."

"Very cute," Mai agreed once again, drinking deeply. "I tell you, though, Anzu, that Ryou...that Ryou's got a butt on him too." The two females giggled. Ryou exited the bathroom to see Mai and Anzu drunk and giggling. They paused and looked at him, before bursting into more giggles.

"(o.o) Oh, dear..."

"Hey!" Mai climbed onto the table, heaving Anzu onto it as well. "Hey, guys!" She waved madly at them and Anzu stumbled on the table, almost falling off. Mai giggled insanely, grabbing her and holding her up right. "It's time to – to really part-ay!" She pointed at a semi-drunken Jounouchi. "Turn the music on, baby!"

"Huh...?" Jou shrugged and did as told. The stereo blared and Anzu and Mai started dancing. Yuugi's eyes popped out of his head and Ryou lost the color in his face again. Before he fainted, he hurried away to the bathroom. Yami, who was still drunk, started to laugh and dance as well.

"(OO'') What...the hell...?" Kaiba muttered, too shocked for anything else.

"Now let's really party!" Anzu cried, taking her shirt off and twirling it in the air. Yuugi's eyes popped once again and blood spurted from his nose. He stumbled back, shocked, before he fainted – again. Kaiba, too, was shocked, though he didn't quite take it the same way as Yuugi. He looked around, then settled himself on the couch, saying to himself, "Hell, might as well enjoy it while it lasts."

"Woo-hoo! Go Anzu!" Almost all the men cried. Mai, jealous, did the same thing as Anzu and there were more cheers, louder this time.

"Come on, Yami, come dance with us!" Mai invited with a grin. Yami accepted the invitation and leapt on the table, dancing with them.

"(-.-) Damn," Kaiba muttered. "Lucky bastard." After the song ended, Yami ended up falling off the table and the two girls followed him, falling on top of him. Jou crowed to everyone, "Alcohol for everyone!" Anzu stumbled over to get a Smirnoff and then snuck behind Kaiba, who was watching as Yami stood up, tripping over Mai, and smashing into the ground.

"Hiii there," Anzu purred, taking a drink of the Smirnoff. "Did I ever tell you, Kaiba, that you have an extremely adorable butt?"

"(o.o) Uh, no, you didn't."

"Really? I could have sworn I told you." She blinked, then shrugged, setting her Smirnoff down and going in front of him, beaming. "Here you go!" She landed a deep kiss on his mouth. His eyes shot to twice their size in surprise, but he wasn't complaining. She drew away and left him alone, joining Mai by the stereo. Kaiba smirked, thinking, I just got kissed by a shirtless girl.

X

(Outside the Kame Game Shop)

"Why are we here again?" The policeman, Dave, demanded, stuffing a donut in his mouth and swallowing it.

"There is SOOO a party going on in that there place!" Mike shrilled. Dave looked at him, then looked at the Kame Game Shop.

"Must be nice not havin' to obey the rules," he remarked.

"They DO have to obey the rules, you idiot!" Mike slapped him across the head and Dave started choking on his donut. He grabbed his pop and chugged it, before sighing with relief. Mike rolled his eyes and resumed glaring at the Kame Game Shop. "Mark my words, I will get my revenge. I WILL GET MY REVENGE!"

"(o.o) Revenge for what?"

"...I dunno," Mike answered with a shrug. "I've just always wanted to say that."

"Oh. So how long until we move in?"

"When I know absolutely for sure that there's a party going on."

"Oh...Okay." Dave returned to eating his donuts and Mike sighed, shaking his head.

X

(Inside the Kame Game Shop)

Jou shook a wine bottle up and stood on the couch, spraying it everywhere. "Open wide, everyone!" There were many laughs from the others. Ryou, Yuugi, and Kaiba were the only sane ones at the party. Presently, they were sitting by the punch table, watching the others.

"Hmm..." Kaiba looked at where Anzu and Mai were giggling and rolling on the ground.

"(o.o) Why do Mai and Anzu only have their undergarments on?" Yuugi asked, staring despite his surprise.

"I don't know," Kaiba answered sincerely. "I'm considering joining Anzu, though."

"Don't you dare." Kaiba smirked at the glare he received from Yuugi.

"Hey you guys!" Yami pranced over to them and batted his eyelashes at them. "Can I have a pony ride?"

"...(-.-) Stay away from me, Yami," the brunette CEO warned.

"Ooh, a volunteer!" Yami abruptly jumped on Kaiba and somehow managed to get on his shoulders. "Go, pony, go!"

"GET OFF ME, YOU THIRD-RATE DUELIST!"

"Bad, pony, bad! Guess I have to get the tranquilizer gun."

"(O.O)...SOMEONE GET THIS INSANE IDIOT OFF ME!" Soon Kaiba was practically running everywhere, trying to get the Pharaoh off him.

X

"Hey..." Bakura slurred, leaning on Malik. "Man, I'm sorry for all this. Really, man, I'm sorry."

"Yeah, that's okay, man," Malik assured him, hugging him. "We're cool."

"...(o.o) What drunks," Marik remarked, taking a drink of whiskey. "Ahh...Serenity! Damn, I just wish that I would get drunk already. (-.-) Really sucks that my body can handle so much alcohol input. I wanna get drunk, dammit!"

X

(Outside Kame Game Shop)

"THAT THERE IS IT!" Mike roared in his Southern accent. Dave jumped awake. "See that? SEE THAT?"

"(o.o) No, Mike, I don't."

"Look at the time."

"It's...three am."

"Exactly. And that there place is still wild and the stereo is blaring and everything!"

"So we're going in."

"Yep." The two cops got out and hurried to the Kame Game Shop, entering and sneaking up to the top floor. Mike pounded on the door and it swung open, revealing two half-nude females. "(OO)...Uh..."

"Hey, look!" Mai snickered. "It's guys in uniforms!"

"Y-you're all under arrest f-for...um...I, uh, forgot."

"Oh, wow, really?" Anzu gasped, clapping her hands. "Awesome! Hear that? We're off the hook!" Yuugi came over and waved the two girls away.

"I'm sorry officer, we'll start to quiet down." Mike, who was in a daze, looked at him dumbly and nodded. Dave sighed and rolled his eyes, muttering, "A waste of my time." Yuugi shut the door and turned to Ryou, who was behind him. "(oO) Where's Kaiba?"

"I...don't feel comfortable discussing it at the moment. After I have therapy, maybe I will," Ryou muttered to him.

"(sweat drop) Oh...alright."

X

(The next morning)

Yami yawned, stretching and snuggled closer to whatever it was he was cuddling with. It was warm, strong, solid, and it had soft hair. Beautifully soft hair. Opening his eyes, Yami smiled and then let out a blood-chilling scream, waking the one beside him and many others. "M-MARIK, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Marik stared at him then realized that Yami was shirtless and had been cuddled up to him just a moment ago. The two started swearing in Arabic and soon they heard two other voices. Malik and Bakura had found themselves sleeping quite closely to each other.

"Oww," Anzu groaned, sitting up and rubbing her head. She was on the floor like many others. What she didn't know was that, since she had been laying on Kaiba, she was now sitting on him. "My head...Oww."

"(-.-) Get off me," Kaiba told her.

"(oO) Where's my clothes?" She questioned, realizing that she only had her bra and panties on. She looked at Kaiba and shrieked, standing up.

"You certainly weren't acting like that last night, Mazaki," he remarked, sitting up and yawning slightly. "Then again, if you ever did shriek, it was out of – "

"AH! NO! Don't finish that sentence!"

"Oh, Anzuuu!" Mai called, popping up from behind the couch. "Here's your clothes. Don't feel too bad, I woke up the same way as you." She glared at someone beside her. "Except I fell asleep between Honda and Jou."

"Ew..." Both Kaiba and Anzu muttered. They exchanged a look, before she turned from him, blushing. Mai tossed Anzu her clothes and Anzu caught them, hastily putting them on.

After everyone had woken up and was finishing screaming and demanding what happened, they calmed down and said their goodbyes to everyone, along with thanking Yuugi for inviting them – Kaiba especially, since he had scored. Yuugi shut the door as Ryou left with Bakura and sighed, turning to look at Yami, who was leaning over the counter.

"(o.o) You wanna clean up now or wait until we eat breakfast?" Yami asked curiously.

"Let's wait until we eat," Yuugi told him with a sigh. "I'm need to get something in my stomach – and have some coffee."

"I need aspirin," Yami moaned, dragging himself in the kitchen, Yuugi following. Yuugi opened the cupboard and took out the Lucky Charms box.

"So, Yami, have you decided what to tell Grandpa about the car being missing?"

"...Yes."

"What's that?"

"I will make a map, give it to him and then he can find the remains of his precious car by himself."

"(o.o)...Great. Just...great."

Fin!

X

DIS: (beams) Wow, that was almost twenty pages on my computer! I must say that I enjoyed writing that. I couldn't help but snicker when Anzu took her shirt off. Ah, if that happened in the actual show, 4Kids would freak. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this brief, humorous one-shot. Please review before you leave and tell me how you liked it. Ciao!


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